Sometime within the past year I've realized that I'm not 22 anymore. One would assume, reasonably, that this would have hit me- oh, somewhere between ages 23 through 29, perhaps? But it didn't. Throughout this time period, I felt the same. I knew I wasn't a teenager, but didn't feel much different at age 29 than I felt at age 24. It was sometime in year 30 that I realized a few things:

First off, now that I'm of a certain age, any cinnamon rolls or french fries I eat go straight to my ass within 24 hours. I wish I were exaggerating.

It's not uncommon for me to grow lines on my forehead overnight. I've got a long line going straight across my forehead, created from thousands of hours of raised-eyebrow surprised looks throughout my lifetime. I've also got a short horizontal line between my eyebrows. She is not a pretty one. I once had a traffic camera take a photo of me when I was speeding through an intersection, so one day a photo of me driving arrived in my mailbox along with a $70 speeding ticket, thankyouverymuch. Much to my dismay, my driving face is one of anger and confusion. Apparently, 11 months of Denver driving has resulted in a fine addition to my forehead line collection.

I also realized after 30 that a crazy night of drinking no longer results in a cute little Saturday morning hangover. Try going out on Friday night and STILL feeling the effects come Monday morning. Not adorable in the least.

I also realized somewhere around my 30th birthday that having a passion is a wonderful thing, but having an obsession is maybe not so healthy. Balance is SO important, and it was something I had been missing out on for almost 5 years. I thought being obsessed with jewelry making would launch me to the moon, but now I am starting to learn that you can't have true happiness unless you are nurturing more than just that one part of yourself. Of course, I told myself that I took time to take bubble baths and to smell roses, but in the midst of all those bubbles was me with a pen and paper scratching down new necklace ideas.

This year, I've made a conscious effort to find more balance. First of all, I'm still doing jewelry- just not skipping dinner most nights for the sake of art. I'm not saying Yes to everything that comes my way. I've got a few small shows lined up for this summer, and am starting to create months and months ahead of time- rather than 3 weeks in advance.

I'm also trying to better manage my finances. So far, I'm in the beginning phases. I have started contributing to a retirement fund and educating myself on these topics- something I wish I would have started doing 5 years ago. I'm listening to a book on tape, Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover. I haven't used credit cards in years, but still have old debts lingering out there, so am hoping to get more aggressive regarding payoff and becoming debt-free. I would love to be one of those people who doesn't use credit cards at all. Finally, my sister Becki and I have signed up for the Denver Half Marathon, a race which takes place in downtown Denver in October. Serious training starts soon, but in the meantime, I'm trying to get to the point where I can run 3 miles straight without walking. So far, I'm about halfway there.

Speaking of marathons- I just read that a 70-year old woman who runs marathons ran after some teenaged thieves after they stole alcohol from a corner store. I read that story earlier today, and had to remind myself that even though I'm not 22, there's a lot of life in all of us no matter what our age.

I'm afraid this is what the city does to a gal.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday, dear mom,
happy birthday to you.

happy birthday, mom! i hope you have a wonderful day. weekend birthdays are the greatest...

much love,
nicki, brandon & koda

my sweetie is out with his friends tonight, so i bring you things that are making me laugh right now. let me just include a disclaimer stating that sometimes almost anything can be deemed funny when one is drinking bud light by one's self.

hahaha- pathetic, i know.

the quote "life's a beach." i am suddenly combing eBay for a t-shirt with this saying. please, someone, intervene!

the word junk. in reference to item number 3.

the thought of others getting the Pussycat Dolls song, "Dontcha," stuck in their head. (thanks for commisserating, Becki!) I have maybe downloaded this song on my iPod, and perhaps also listen to Fergie tunes when I'm jogging.

SNL's Two A-Holes.

My boyfriend doing the running man.

sweetness defined

This just might be the sweetest thing I've seen all year. Hint: be sure to watch at least a minute and twenty seconds into the video...

"Our Prejudices, Ourselves"
by Harvey Fierstein as published in The New York Times

AMERICA is watching Don Imus's self-immolation in a state of shock and awe. And I'm watching America with wry amusement.

Since I'm a second-class citizen -- a gay man -- my seats for the ballgame of American discourse are way back in the bleachers. I don't have to wait long for a shock jock or stand-up comedian to slip up with hateful epithets aimed at me and mine. Hate speak against homosexuals is as commonplace as spam. It's daily traffic for those who profess themselves to be regular Joes, men of God, public servants who live off my tax dollars, as well as any number of celebrities.

In fact, I get a good chuckle whenever someone refers to "the media" as an agent of "the gay agenda." There are entire channels, like Spike TV, that couldn't fill an hour of programming if required to remove their sexist and homophobic content. We've got a president and a large part of Congress willing to change the Constitution so they can deprive of us our rights because they feel we are not "normal."

So I'm used to catching foul balls up here in the cheap seats. What I am really enjoying is watching the rest of you act as if you had no idea that prejudice was alive and well in your hearts and minds.

For the past two decades political correctness has been derided as a surrender to thin-skinned, humorless, uptight oversensitive sissies. Well, you anti-politically correct people have won the battle, and we're all now feasting on the spoils of your victory. During the last few months alone we've had a few comedians spout racism, a basketball coach put forth anti-Semitism and several high-profile spoutings of anti-gay epithets.

What surprises me, I guess, is how choosy the anti-P.C. crowd is about which hate speech it will not tolerate. Sure, there were voices of protest when the TV actor Isaiah Washington called a gay colleague a "faggot." But corporate America didn't pull its advertising from "Grey's Anatomy," as it did with Mr. Imus, did it? And when Ann Coulter likewise tagged a presidential candidate last month, she paid no real price.

In fact, when Bill Maher discussed Ms. Coulter's remarks on his HBO show, he repeated the slur no fewer than four times himself; each mention, I must note, solicited a laugh from his audience. No one called for any sort of apology from him. (Well, actually, I did, so the following week he only used it once.)

Face it, if a Pentagon general, his salary paid with my tax dollars, can label homosexual acts as "immoral" without a call for his dismissal, who are the moral high and mighty kidding?

Our nation, historically bursting with generosity toward strangers, remains remarkably unkind toward its own. Just under our gleaming patina of inclusiveness, we harbor corroding guts. America, I tell you that it doesn't matter how many times you brush your teeth. If your insides are rotting your breath will stink. So, how do you people choose which hate to embrace, which to forgive with a wink and a week in rehab, and which to protest? Where's my copy of that rule book?

Let me cite a non-volatile example of how prejudice can cohabit unchecked with good intentions. I am a huge fan of David Letterman's. I watch the opening of his show a couple of times a week and have done so for decades. Without fail, in his opening monologue or skit Mr. Letterman makes a joke about someone being fat. I kid you not. Will that destroy our nation? Should he be fired or lose his sponsors? Obviously not.

But I think that there is something deeper going on at the Letterman studio than coincidence. And, as I've said, I cite this example simply to illustrate that all kinds of prejudice exist in the human heart. Some are harmless. Some not so harmless. But we need to understand who we are if we wish to change. (In the interest of full disclosure, I should confess to not only being a gay American, but also a fat one. Yes, I'm a double winner.)
I urge you to look around, or better yet, listen around and become aware of the prejudice in everyday life. We are so surrounded by expressions of intolerance that I am in shock and awe that anyone noticed all these recent high-profile instances. Still, I'm gladdened because our no longer being deaf to them may signal their eventual eradication.

The real point is that you cannot harbor malice toward others and then cry foul when someone displays intolerance against you. Prejudice tolerated is intolerance encouraged. Rise up in righteousness when you witness the words and deeds of hate, but only if you are willing to rise up against them all, including your own. Otherwise suffer the slings and arrows of disrespect silently.

Harvey Fierstein is an actor and playwright.

The secret to a long life is to stay busy, get plenty of exercise and don’t drink too much. Then again, don’t drink too little. - Hermann Smith-Johannson, 103-year-old cross-country skier, quoted in The New York Times, March 20, 1979

will farrell makes me laugh

Here's T-Bone in a video he likes to call, "A Ride Through my Neighborhood: Heaven in the Form of Wind Blowing Through My Hair. The Prequel."

happy easter!

Happy Easter, y'all! We celebrated today with homemade cinnamon rolls. Can you believe the whole process took nearly 3 hours? I am more of a buy a tube of cinnamon rolls and enjoy 20 minutes later kind of gal.

I made some new necklace designs today in preparation for my show in June, took the dog for a little stroll around the neighborhood, and went to a movie with Becki and her boyfriend Pat.

Speaking of Pat... I think he should be the next internet superstar. Therefore, I invite you to share this video with at least 8 of your friends. At a minimum.

peep art

Peeps. Brilliant!

Happy Easter, everyone.

P.S. Check out my sweetie's new blog . Not only does he make me giggle with his humorous writing, but he's got a pretty nifty 30 Days project going on that just might inspire you to shake up your routine in the name of change.

I'm experiencing outgoing information overload! As of tonight, I have a personal blog, a jewelry website blog, a Flickr photo account, a family Yahoo message board, a regular MySpace account, a jewelry MySpace account, and a Livejournal blog account. Anyone else out there half as out of control as me? MySpace/Facebook peeps, help me not feel like a big cyber-nerd!

I've just got too much going on, meaning that I don't get to write anything of much substance on any one site- instead try to visit all of them every so often and go through spurts like writing here 4 days a week, followed by two weeks of silenece. I need to cut back, and started with my m.w. MySpace account. There are some things, though, that I just can't get rid of. Like this space. I have no idea how many people read this blog. I know I've got a handful of regulars who comment, but I wonder if certain people still read or how many people I don't think know about this place actually stop by this blog. It's probably just me and the 5 to 6 regular bloggers-- or that's what I'll keep telling myself. Although it's fun to share with an audience, I have always been the type to prefer small audiences.

I have been blogging at LiveJournal since April 2001- although at the time, it was my "online journal" rather than my blog. Isn't that crazy? It's fun to read back to the time when I was falling in love with my boyfriend and finding my true passion.

I will soon be training for a half-marathon, getting ready for potentially two jewelry shows this summer, and trying to balance work and finding time to spend with my love. I need to find a good balance. Somehow checking 7 websites every night just doesn't seem to fit into what I envision my summer as being. I want to get out and go climbing and climb mountains and climb the hill to the ice cream shop instead.

magazine debut

One of my charms was part of a necklace in a full-page spread featured in Stringing magazine's Fall 2006 issue! Check that off my life's list, I guess. I missed the issue at the time it was out, but thanks to eBay, was lucky enough to snag a copy of my very own.

One of my favorite shows right now is Scrubs. I've just started watching this show in the past year or two, although it's been around much longer, but it's one of those shows that evokes huge laughs from both me and Brandon on a regular basis. There are few shows we both enjoy: I watch The Real World, he enjoys Battlestar Galactica on the Sci Fi Channel, for example. We both like Scrubs, Lost, and The Office, so there is hope for us after all.

Anyway- back to the video. I watched MTV a lot when I was little, which is probably not surprising to anyone who knows me well enough, but I'd record new videos and watch them over and over on our "new" VCR. What a great invention! I'd also try to learn how to dance by imitation. I'd go into my room and would practice in front of the full-length mirror inside my closet door. I remember being in love with the likes of MC Hammer, Boyz II Men, and Vanilla Ice. Not hard core rap, mind you, but still a ways away from the earlier years when I loved Debbie Gibson and Tiffany. Anyway, the running man was hard to learn, no? I asked Brandon a few months back if he'd do the running man for me, and he obliged. Only he'd never really learned the running man. It was cute.